Time has flown since I went back to work in early January. My days are spent arranging meetings, assisting our bankers and wealth management teams, learning to be a teller (in the event my teller is out of the office) and ordering collateral, swag and gifts for the brand, in lieu of a marketing person doing so. I enjoy my job and the people I work with. We’ve had two parties together, a birthday and a Broncos World Championship Parade. The pace is about 4 times slower than my previous position, which allows me to perform exceptionally, but also provides a lot of unwanted down time.
Married life is good. We love spending time together and we’re learning how to maintain the quality aspect and stay connected emotionally. It does not happen automatically!
Our church commute is longer than I would like (it’s in the city – about 25 minutes from home, but somehow seems longer) – why is it that I feel comfortable commuting 1 hour to/from work, but 25 minutes seems too long for church? The truth is I have stayed home from church for the past three weeks. I plan to bring this up at small group tonight to get a discussion going and some encouragement. I blame depression and other small things, but I know there will always be reasons to not go. Obedience to stay in a body of believers does not require a feeling on my part, but I’m telling myself it does.
It could be winter, it could be my newly formed sleeping pill dependency, or it could be lingering grief from the move, but I have almost zero zest for any aspect of my life.
I am waiting. I am talking to God. I am trying to remember to regularly praise Him for who He is and what He has done in my life. I am sleeping very well and waking up easily (in the early hours). I am making time for new friends and enjoying their company. But – yeah.
This is where I am.